1. |
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And in the end, of course we left you in the silence, darling,
to meet again, in the echoes of our violence, darling
And I’m afraid of all the daylights we could leave alone now,
the things we made, all the nights we whispered on the phone now
And these are places that I've always been
But I’m never going back there again
Because it’s clear, when you gave up on me my dear I made you
cavalier, we meet like melodies that never come true
Bits of sun, falling hopeless on the meadow rivers,
everyone staring past me through the words I give her
And these are places that I’ve always been
But I’m never going back there again
I can't see going back there again
I’m never going back there again
and in the end, we were lost in feathers and friends and I made you
meet again, where we atrophy and turn into glue
In the end, you’ll give up on me my friend and I love you
and we pretend, that we might never meet again —
to fall in love, fall apart, fall in love without it
And if we never fall in love, I’ll be the body you’re above without it
Like the liar run undone, the way you know the day will come without it
I’m singing silence to the sun, I’m thinking things I’ve never done without it
And if it’s what you’re dreaming of, don’t be a lark, don’t be a dove about it
And if you never fall in love you'll be subliminally all about it
And when we first fell out of love I didn’t give a second thought about it
Cause when you first fall out of love you haven’t learned that you might have to doubt it
And all the homes we're dreaming of, all warm and stable like our parents shouted
Like a father and a dove, there isn’t really much to say about it
And if we don’t learn how to love, I’ll be the one you’re dreaming of without it
Cause when I fell in love with you, I didn’t really have a doubt about it
Leave the songs you’re dreaming of, dreaming of, that you’ll never outdo
There’s so many people left, on the floor, they swing their arms about you
Reticent explorers by the door, they sing their songs about you
What if I never fall in love, fall in love, fall in love without you
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2. |
Selling Rhymes
03:32
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These lovers languishing lazily,
Lazy morning simplicity
Lazy, over the papers, he
says I’m unimpressed if you outshine me
An endless stream of lips and wine —
everything that isn’t mine —
I’ll never know if it was true,
but I’ll wonder sometimes about loving you.
And you don’t give up until you’ll be
the artist-lover you couldn’t see
You don’t give up until you’ll be
the artist-lover you couldn’t see
And she says she’ll love you some day
And she says she’ll love you some day
But I know not to tell you I love you so loud anymore
I know not to be where I fall on the floor anymore
The Brooklyn lovers we’ll never be —
off-white sneakers and languishing,
watching, moving, so aimlessly,
isolated from anything.
And they say they’ll love you some day
Always say they’ll love you some day
She knows she’ll love you some day
Don’t hate her; she’ll love you some other day
And the women I love are so dark in their light to pretend,
shielding their lightness like pennies they’d rather not spend.
And I hate like a vision how minutes can pass in the night,
afraid at the end of a fiction my mind will be wiped.
Holding notes at the end of time,
alone in circles, selling rhymes,
freeze things up in the air sometimes,
you'll never know it wasn’t true;
and still wonder sometimes about loving you.
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3. |
Heavy As You
06:18
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These styrofoam pencils, you’ve been looking at me
Through a keyhole, in a minor key
In the luxury dollhouse, these brains, they’ll never be free
In the notes you keep hearing so long where you stay out of key
To wish I could shake them, heavily to the bone
With my face in ink, we blot out the monotone
So undeluded, transparent feasts and cologne
And I nightmare of cadencing somewhere I’ll stay on my own
You could live without it like hummingbirds in tune
And I’ll try to give myself (just as heavy as you)
There’s something between us, smoke from these cigarettes
Love is for knowing these things are just silhouettes
I saw in the window, their heads were off, silver church minarets
Where they’re so in denial that everyone’s set in one key
We’re waiting to be
If I could just hold you onto the floor someday
With no need to hear all the struggling things I could say
I could tell you in a minute, from sideways eyes, and the colors you see
Where I nightmare of cadencing somewhere I’ll stay out of key
You could live without it like hummingbirds in tune
And I’ll try to give myself just as heavy as you
They’ll say that I don’t know them, but darling I think I do
Maybe I can’t love it all quite as heavy as you
We could be wizards, alone in the minor key
And then I collapse in an infinite daze at your feet
The styrofoam pencils run around and they burn up the trees
And then I collapse in a nightmare that’s way out of key
The luxury dollhouse, the butler looks at the moon
And I watch him collapse like a hummingbird out of tune
I could pretend pretty well and sometimes I certainly do
But girl if I’m honest I’ll never be free of you
We could live without it, they mostly know that it mostly is true
And they’ll never know you now just like I think I do
Maybe there’s nobody who does the things that they say that they do
(What if I never fall in love quite as heavy as you)
And all the portrait artists and senators, they retired to drink what they could
And I used to love but I used to never be good
They drink golden vodka and metaphors, they hate silence and want to be new
And they’re full of nothing the way that I’m full with you
And you could live without it, it’s the way we were and we know it was beautiful too
In my lifetime darling I’ll never be free of you
And really I do love you, I wish you’d trust me because really my darling I do
And I don’t know how to convince you that honey it’s true
And you could live without it like silhouettes and a silence that grows every day on the hill
But they wouldn’t get it all; darling I know you will
We could like together like lightning rods so embarrassed we suddenly learned how to kill
Like a hummingbird, where they want to always be still
All these fire eaters and parasites, full of longing they’ll never grow old enough to instill
Burning fairy dust and desire to ever be still
You could tune your piano like Beethoven where you last forever and people say that you’ll always be new
In my lifetime darling I’ll never be tired of you
And if we fall together will you rely on me still
And what if I don’t love you the way that you think I will
And there’s nothing more to love than a vision it’s true
There’s nothing more and there’s nothing left for us too
And we could live without it and most of them certainly do
What if I never love someone quite as heavy as you
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4. |
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I didn’t want to be alone again
I thought I knew much more than me
And faded colors and basketball
Your telephone and your half-priced call
The day I cried and I broke the wall
I should have known that you would always win
And maybe you’ll go say a prayer for him
And set him right where you set him free
Forgetting what you would never be
And smile when you’re too close to me
And pick the pieces up and call me art
And knowing what it means to fall apart
To never know how I did you wrong
For being happy and beautiful
Your megaphone and your lost control
You could be someone
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underorder New York, New York
underorder is the avant indie project of composer/multi-instrumentalist Gabriel Zucker. underorder sets simple folklike melodies within dense, evocative soundscapes and epic compositions.
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